Relationships are a crucial part of every business. In fact, one study suggests that over 80% of a business persons day is spent dealing with people, especially executives and sales people. It is one thing to be around people but a completely different thing to be in relationship with them. Take a look at these 10 signs that your relationships and your business could be in trouble.
- You don’t love and accept yourself. The fact is, the only relationship in your life that is continual and therefore important, is with yourself. The first person you need to learn to get along with is YOU.
- You don’t put energy into being likable. Some encouraging tips to be more likable include choosing to smile, ask people questions, and put others and their agenda before your own. Zig Ziglar once said, “You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want.” A likable person helps others.
- You can’t remember peoples names. Simple enough. But many people struggle with this. One thing I have done to work on this is take a picture of the person and use an app like Phonto to add text to the photo simply adding their name. Study the photos, memorize their names.
- You don’t know what interests others inside the work environment or their outside hobbies. Learn to put yourself in others shoes and learn their interests and you will build a deeper relationship with them.
- You don’t ask for help from others. There isn’t a better way to connect with someone and build a relationship than asking them for help and or seeking out there opinion on how you might be able to do something better. Don’t think you have all the answers, because you don’t, you just have your answers.
- You don’t add value to people. We can only truly add value to people if we value people and are making ourselves more valuable. What are you learning right now that you can share with someone else? Hint: listening to others adds value to them too!
- You focus on what is wrong with others instead of focusing on what is right. Find common ground, even if it is small slice of ground and build upon it. Slowly, over time, if you focus on that common ground you share with others, it will increase, and the relationship will grow and become stronger.
- You love your opinion more than you love people. You can’t win a great relationship if you are always winning arguments every time. Give up some space to them from time to time and you will see the relationship grow.
- You don’t follow the Golden Rule. Before you do something, in relationship with someone else, stop and ask yourself, “would I want this person to do this to me?”
- You don’t seek out resources to help you grow in relationship skills. What books have you read and or classes have you taken to improve your relationship skills? How committed are you to growing in relationship with others?
I owe an immense amount of thanks to a conversation I had with one of my mentors, Paul Martinelli, as we discussed relationships recently. It was an awesome and eye opening conversation. I am also extremely grateful for the learning and teaching resources I have as part of the John Maxwell Team. Much of the foundation of this post came from those resources.
If you could grade yourself based on these top 10 signs that you need to build better relationships, what grade would you give yourself? If you would like to improve your own self imposed grade, reach out to me, and ask me about the How to Be a REAL Success Coaching Program. It is designed for individuals and teams to study and develop in the areas of Relationships, Equipping, Attitude, and Leadership—the hallmarks of successful individuals and teams.